I once wrote an article called "In Search of the Blessing" for PRISM and it was basically about that illusive deep felt need to get approval "the blessing" from those leaders that came before us. Something that I've seen alot of in the Latino community. However, I think something has happened within the last few years, many young, emerging leaders are "just doing it" whatever that "it" is to them aka community ministry, new church, business start-up, etc. I think that is a good thing. I know for me, I still don't feel like I've accomplished what I dreamed of accomplishing at this age (39 again) but I feel good that I tried to do what I believed God wanted me to even if I felt the fear.
Although I have seen alot of "seeking for the blessing", one thing that I haven't seem much of is coaching. Alot of gatekeeper leaders believe they are coaching or mentoring but they really aren't. It's not about having a meeting for 1 hour every few months. Coaching is a collaborative journey toward the goals of the person being coached. Christian leadership coaching involves coming alongside a person and joining them in their life and ministry journey, and helping them live into the goals and actions they feel spiritually led to fulfill.
Although I am not a spring chicken, God is still speaking to me to be more and to coach others especially women. I didn't have that growing up. I feel terribly sad that I didn't but I also know that the past generation just didn't know what to do with us. As they see us achieving, then they come alongside of us but when we really needed a push, many saddenly were not there. Some people have the perservance to keep going without the blessing and the coaching but many unfortunately do not. Many people still walk around or have died with potential inside.
I think that is why I like what LLC has become. Although not perfect (right?) they are almost like a peer coaching experience, celebrating their achievements and passages in life while also feeling the pains, highs and low of ministry and whatever else comes their way. I remember telling Dave Ramos (mi pana, a good friend), the founder of the group that I hoped it wouldn't become an all talk group when I first attended a meeting with five people in the God Box. I remember a person we both respected say that it would be another "navel-gazing experience". I am happy to see that for all intents and purposes, it has not. Groups like this help people turn potential into reality because they may be the only place where someone gets the blessing and the support for what God may be calling them to do.
I am preparing to enter my next phase not of ministry but my life. Ministry doesn't make me, however, every thing I am, the sum total of all of my experiences (as Rev. Ray would say) is intertwined with the ministries I'm involved in. I want to really give back, I want others to say I helped them, I coached them to begin the steps towards their destiny. I walked many times alone. I cried and laughed many times alone. Later in life, God did put people in my life but I sure wish they were there earlier. Perhaps I would not have done this or that. Perhaps you had a similar story. Because of God's grace, you and I survived. You and I are where we are now. In spite of whatever, we are here. When is the best time to think of our leadership legacy? I think the best time is now.
As we think about what we do and will leave behind, we should also really, really seek collaborative journeys with others. Not for ministry purposes, not to "do" ministry but to also become the person we need to become so that we can be and do all God intended us to. I mention this because many people talk about friendship and getting close to others but when the going gets tough, they walk away and some never talk to those people again or at best have those superficial kind of talks that are a total waste of time all for the sake of making appearances. No, collaborative journeys for those who dare to take them will test everything you believe about friendship, about loyalty, about how far you are willing to sacrifice and humble yourself for the better of the other. Having walked this journey with three females who are my closest friends I gotta tell you this isn't easy but if you know that you know that you know, those people have been put on your path by God for such a time as this, sometimes you will have to fight to keep it. We easily walk away because it hurts to love and trust another. But each time you walk away, another would be collaborative friendship that could empower and be a catalyst for destiny is buried. Why do you think its so hard to take off your mask and be able to handle when someone takes off theirs? BECAUSE there is power in those collaborations.
Collaborative journeys help you accept yourself, be all of who you are, give all of what you have. Don't dismiss their importance. Finally, I leave this quote with ya'll, I pray we can all say this.
"When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'." (Emma Bombeck)
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